Letting Go and Trusting the Universe- 7 Habits to Master as you Learn to Surrender

Letting Go and Trusting the Universe- 7 Habits to Master as you Learn to Surrender

Letting Go & Trusting the Universe


I have let go significantly in the past month. I lost my beloved dog companion Scout unexpectedly and suddenly. While I am at peace with her transition, death invites us quickly to the doorstep of surrender. I am choosing to wade into deep waters of grief, letting go and trusting the universe, feeling into the love beyond limitations and being with the impermanence of life. Surrendering is the ultimate act of conscious awareness, bringing me into my body and heart and lifting the veil of what I have no control over. Standing at the intersection of here and now.


Surrender is an invitation to find contentment and peace right here and now, open ourselves to trusting life beyond the limitations that our fears, expectations, and disappointments impose upon it. ~Colette Lafia


The Power of Surrender


Aimee Falchuk, a therapist, explains why surrendering is essential:

When we surrender, we turn our ego and self-will over to deeper wisdom and knowing within us—our higher self. When we surrender to our higher self, we let go of the painful distortion of certainty, duality, and separateness, and we embrace the truth of uncertainty, connection, and unity.


Scout & Surrender


Several weeks after Scout passed, her gentle Spirit came to visit me, allowing my human self to understand and reckon the pain of her loss. Scout mastered the gift of surrender, in the physical plane and her death, and I wanted to know how to be more fully in that space every day. She surrendered to life and death and gave me the greatest gift in learning this act of love. Scout loved belly rubs, and often, I would find her on her back in a belly rub position. This, too, was how she showed up in Spirit, on her back, ready for belly rubs. 


Between the banks of pain and pleasure, the river of life flows. It is only when the mind refuses to flow with life and gets stuck at the banks that it becomes a problem. By flowing with life, I mean acceptance — Letting come what comes and go what goes. ~Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


Trust & Letting Go


The ultimate surrender and trust for dogs are to allow you to touch, pet, or rub their bellies. They spend an entire life protecting this area. Even as she slept, it was in full surrender mode, legs fully extended- knowing and trusting the wisdom of each moment. She loved to have her belly rubbed, and her heart touched. We all want to be recognized, loved, validated, and heard. We all want a seat at the table with an open heart. Lean into the surrender of leading with an open heart.


Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender ~Danielle Orner.


Letting Go and Gaining Control


The word surrender means to relinquish control. Surrendering to the moment involves letting go of your expectations surrounding what should happen and allowing the ease of what will happen to move in. This is not a natural state to live within; we operate within the constructs of clocks and calendars, which help us move forward with appointments, tasks, jobs, and doing more. We are always seeking control because uncertainty is unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and often scary. Yet, the very thing that helps us gain control is surrendering and developing trust in the wisdom of the universe. 


The greatness of the man’s power is the measure of his surrender.― William Booth


Seeking Surrender


The path of surrender comes from letting go. Letting go of the control, and needing to know, and external validation and being propped up by false illusions. Surrendering your attachment to a particular outcome- and often in that surrender, the result is better than you thought it should be trying to control the situation.


Letting Go-not the path of inaction


Surrender does not mean giving up or inaction. Surrendering may appear passive, especially when everyone around you is go, go, go, get it done, this is urgent, etc. What seems as inaction is simply a recognition of the dust settling within—control of the internal environment to make the switch from perceived control to complete control in surrender. 


For example, people who have mastered this trait may look like this:


In a meeting, they often sit back, take it all in; you may be waiting for them to speak, but they are waiting intuitively for the appropriate time to speak up. You will notice that you pay attention when these people talk because they flow with the natural rhythm of the environment. There is a natural flow surrounding their presence. They don’t “talk to talk” or have a personal agenda that boosts an egoic perspective; they contribute when the timing is impeccable and trust the rhythm to take them to this space.


Faith does not come from striving; it comes from surrender ~Bill Johnson.


The balancing act of Surrender and Control


Every day we are called in and out of our true nature and balance between doing things we have to do and things we want to do. Often we resist what we have to do, naturally blocking the flow state of surrender. We resist in our attempt to control. Think about that for a minute. We resist what we believe to be within our realm of control. For example, I write every morning and was interrupted on a recent morning earlier than usual. While I felt mounting frustration and resistance with the interruption of my creative flow, I surrendered to the task at hand, and a flood of ideas and thoughts organized quickly about the writing that I was doing earlier. Ideas that may have never materialized had I not fully surrendered. It all worked out as it should when I released the sword of control.


Surrender to what is, Let go of what was, Have faith in what will be ~Sonia Ricotti


How do you truly Let Go?


Leo Babuta of Zenhabits.net suggests dropping into your body and noticing the fear, uncertainty, and anxiety causing you to want to get control. Stay with this physical sensation in your body, the energy of uncertainty that causes you to grasp for control. Be with it fully, allowing yourself to feel it. Relax and surrender to it.


Spiritual Surrender


When I first started opening to my psychic gifts years ago, I was surprised to learn that what is revealed to me comes in a state of spiritual surrender, not on-demand, as our lives have become. I must prepare my body, heart, and mind for the rush of pictures, words, and feelings by retreating into a state of complete surrender and letting go. Preparing my body took some practice as the analytical brain/ego (designed for tasks like paying bills, what’s for dinner, and results) naturally wanted results. The ego constantly looks for validation but the soul trusts and knows that what must be revealed will indeed be in time.

There is a coherence that happens when the logical brain sits back, and the creative brain steps forward and takes over; however, this coherence doesn’t happen with the analytical brain telling the creative brain what to do. It occurs in a sweet spot of surrender.


The moment of surrender is not when life is over; it’s when life begins. ~Marianne Williamson


Simple everyday tasks that help you practice the art of surrender



We all have things we have to wait for, and it is in the wait that our frustration may build. The advances of technology over the past 20 years have challenged our perception of wait times and suffering. In the ultimate act of surrender, press pause, wait, and trust the rhythm of waiting. I use this practice at the grocery store when I seemingly pick the longest line that seems to be moving slowly. I take a moment, relax into my body, look around at the people, give attention to my breath, and trust that I am right where I need to be.


Let it Be

The Beatles sang it the best- “Let it Be- there will be an answer, let it be” give up the need to know and be. Be with yourself, the company you keep, the changes in your life, the moment right now. Let it all be for you right now. Worrying about how it will all come to be doesn’t change the outcome; it just stirs emotions that aren’t helpful to your process of letting go.


Practice Love

It seems like a simple thing: self-love, family love, community love, world love. The need to control is rooted in fear, and fear is an energetic state; when we are rooted in love, the vibration is different. Significantly different. With a hand over your heart, quietly right now, send love to yourself, and imagine you receiving this beautiful flow. Imagine sending love to your family and loved ones and them receiving your heartfelt love. Now imagine sending it to your community and your community receiving it, just how it needs to be accepted. Now imagine sending it to the world and infusing all the suffering and sorrow with your transcendent love.


Seek Stillness or Silence

We are overwhelmed with noise from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep, and it is so disrupting to our natural rhythms. For example, we often forget why we entered a room, or we feel building anxiety as the day progresses without the to-do list wholly done. Your intention over your attention is essential here. Step outside the illusions of time, find pockets in your day to walk with Stillness or bathe in silence. Imagine the energy of Stillness wrapping you in its energetic cloak. Often it is the space between that offers the richest rewards. 


Ground into the present moment

Often, we are not in our bodies; we are rooted in the past or future, living these could of’s or should of’s, in an alternate reality. The only truth that exists is right now. 

Try this Grounding activity:

Close your eyes and place both feet flat on the floor. Create an energetic grounding cord near your tailbone, and connect it to the center of the earth. This cord is made of anything you choose.  Imagine connecting to the pure, neutral, grounding earth energy deep within the earth. Now imagine that this earth energy is flowing up through your feet, neutralizing the energy within your body, helping you ground into the present moment. Watch this energy flow up through your feet, ankles, shins, knees and thighs, and hips. Now watch it flow at about 70% down your grounding cord. Watch for 2 mins.

Its job is to carry the earth energy that has entered your body, back out of your body. It is helping to clean and neutralize your energy. This grounding cord will also carry back to the earth anything you wish to release.

You may feel different sensations in your body, but the goal is to feel your body, get out of your head and feel your body.


Reserve Judgment

Our experience and center are unlike anyone else’s journey. Our view of others’ lives should not be from the lens of our own biases and expectations but rather a surrendering space of compassion and understanding. Let people show up and live their life, give grace and space for their evolution and flow on this planet.



Trust the rhythm of the flow. Listening takes center stage with this habit. It is helpful if you tap into the subtle yet innate flow happening within you. Step back and press pause on the need to be physically within every moment in time and space. Now, think of the earth on its axis, rotating every 24 hours, creating sunrises and sunsets, allowing for periods of activity and rest. The moon revolves around the earth, creating the gravitational pull with the ocean tides, in and out—all working succinctly together to sustain life on earth. No one is asking for more time and space but equal opportunity. Consider trusting the flow of your life. So much of what is happening around you is outside of your control. The absolute power you have is happening within you. Trust.


Final Thoughts


You either choose to let go or control in every moment; what are you choosing today?


When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need” ~ Tao Te Ching.